My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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