dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
