Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
