Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
