Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
