I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my shit smells like andre
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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