it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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