It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
