as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
