Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
