anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize