Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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