Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
