i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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