If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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