doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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