I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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