"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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