I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
