$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Randomize
