Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
