I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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