Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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