Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
