There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
