Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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