Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
