even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
