Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My bed smells like the plague
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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