margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Pants 0. Shit 1.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
