I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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