Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
