More tranny stories later!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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