i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize