Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
