I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
