My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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