Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
