No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm at about main and main street
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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