No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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