and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
