So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
