What a fucking waste of an outfit
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
