I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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