Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize