Swine flu is the new snow day.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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