I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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