I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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