so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
