Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
