I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize