When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
