Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
