i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
