woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
