Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
