we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
