There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
