i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
