he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize