I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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