should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
