she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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